I Forget.

“Crazy,” said the man. “I don’t see how that can possibly happen.”

“What?” said the woman.

“That,” he said, pointing at the crowd.

“What’s happening that you don’t understand?”

“Well, they’re all talking and arguing, but nothing’s getting done.”

“Maybe that’s not the point of the meeting,” she said.

“If that’s not the point, then why in the world would you come here? It’s hot, it’s humid, the river is so deep and wide no one can swim – it just seems like a terrible day to have a meeting.”

“I don’t think they plan on swimming,” the woman said.

“How can you tell?” he asked.

She pointed at the things they were holding. Sticks with signs and the signs had faces. Gruesome faces.

“They’re meeting about those faces on their signs. Something’s upset them about the faces.”

“Hmph,” grunted the man.

She got up from her chair to get a better look. Holding on to the rail to steady herself she looked at the crowd. She hadn’t gotten up out of that chair in a long time.

“Be careful,” he said.

She almost tipped over at the sound of his voice. He hadn’t told her to be careful since, well, it had been a long time. “Hmmm, yes, definitely faces,” she said. The crowd was moving closer to their block so it was easier to see.

“Sit down!” he said, “You’re gonna fall and besides that we don’t want to catch their attention. They might want to come over and bother us.”

Normally she would have heeded his words, but the faces on the signs intrigued her and she squinted. What was that? There was something familiar about the eyes on one of the signs but the familiarity was faint, like a dream that once you walk around in the daylight with some coffee in your belly, starts to fade into the doldrums of another day. She had been alive such a long time. Memories felt like that sometimes, like dreams. Her momma would have called her crazy if she had told her something like that but Momma had been dead a long time. So had so many people….so many people gone for so long.

Oh dear God they were headed their way. And the old man was wrong. They weren’t shouting and arguing, they were singing. Why were there tears on her cheeks? She couldn’t remember if she had thought anything sad. That was funny, tears with no thought behind them. She’d have to tell Elmer about that.

Her breath caught at the thought of Elmer. Just then she heard her name being called but it sounded so far away. She wanted to see the signs. She wanted hear the voices. She wanted to sing with the crowd.

“Someday Lord, Someday Lord, Someday we gonna rise up and sing!”

Now where did that come from? That was her voice! She was singing a song she didn’t even know she knew. How about that? A smile joined the tears as she felt Ray’s hand on her shoulder. He was crying too.

The crowd was almost to their gate and the faces were smiling and singing and they were holding Elmer’s face on their signs. Signs with Elmer’s face smiling, and other, terrible signs, with some terrible mask that only resembled her baby. Swollen face, eyes bleeding, barbed wire wrapped around his forehead like a crown of thorns, teeth protruding through his lower lip. Her baby.

“Ray,” she said, feeling her knees buckle, “Ray I can’t…” familiar but not familiar hands gently guided her and Ray back to their chairs. She heard stern voices and suddenly the gory signs were relegated to the back of the crowd. Finally all they could see were the signs with their smiling Elmer again. Elmer. Their baby.

Her hands went to her face now wet with tears and she grabbed Ray’s hand. She looked over and his wet face was set, his lips silently mouthing the words to the crowd’s song, “Someday, someday, someday we gonna rise up,” he sang.

Iced tea was placed in her hand and she took a long sip. She took her handkerchief tucked neatly in her shirt pocket and absently wiped her mouth and face. As the last of the crowd walked past their house and the song faded, she looked at Ray and said,

“Today is too hot to be outside, I wonder what these folks are up to?”

“I don’t know baby,” Ray said gently, “I don’t know.”